


Ashes

by blackfin



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 01:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13823487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackfin/pseuds/blackfin
Summary: Link wakes up in a shrine with a blank in his memory - no recollection of what he was doing or how he got there. Swamped with fear, brought on by an unknown cause, Link is instructed to finish the trial of will if he wants to get out of the shrine but finds himself facing an adversary he can't possibly bring himself to fight, much less kill.





	Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted on my tumblr, s-aizo  
> A couple anons on tumblr requested some angst so this is it  
> Comments and kudos are muchly appreciated! Thank you! <3  
> Currently accepting commissions, check my tumblr for more details

With a loud, raspy gasp, Link jerked awake. His hands flew to his stomach, gripping hold of the sweat drenched fabric, not really knowing what to expect but comforted nonetheless when his fingers didn’t find that unknown thing. Pain thudded viciously at the base of his skull, thrumming in time to his rapid heartbeat. Nausea swirled slowly inside his stomach, threatening to hurl up whatever was in there if Link so much as shifted. Right now, it felt like the Gerudo desert was in his throat. Every time he swallowed, he could hear his throat clicking. There was a terrible bitter bile taste in his mouth that he quickly realized was caused by congealed blood underneath his tongue. Rolling over onto his side, his stomach and head screeching in protest, he spat out a gob of spit and blood. 

Shivering, his body both cold and hot, Link brushed sweat soaked hair out of his face, acutely aware of how clammy his skin felt, and slowly looked around. It took his fuzzy, unfocused mind a couple moments to identify where he was: inside some kind of shrine. Going off the layout of it, it had to be one of the tests of strengths, as indicated by the massive open space lying beyond the latticed walls. Well, that answered the question of where he was but why was he there? How did he get there? What was he doing there? The last thing he could remember was leaving a stable, heading North towards...something. He didn’t recall finding a shrine but, obviously, he must have at some point. 

Clenching his teeth, Link shakily got to his feet, commanding his stomach to stay calm, to not eject itself. Gasping, cold rushing down his spine, sweat pouring off from his forehead and into his eyes, Link took a moment to compose himself before slowly walking towards the entrance. Behind him, the door to where the Monk would be was still closed, which meant this shrine wasn’t cleared. There was no way in hell he would attempt to do any fighting or any kind of anything in his current condition, especially when he couldn’t remember what the fuck was going on. 

Stepping into the portal, he waited it to initiate, to take him back up to the surface but nothing happened. That was not a good sign. Even after a trial was initiated, he could usually get out if he needed to. There hadn’t been a shrine he had encountered yet that wouldn’t let him out. Holding his arms protectively over his chest, his trembling legs threatening to send him tumbling to the ground, Link tilted his head back, took in a huge, shaky breath and commanded, “Out! Let me out!”

The trial must be completed, a voice whispered inside his head, obviously coming from the monk that hid deep within the blocked off chamber. 

“Fuck.” Link muttered, his eyes falling closed. Bad, this was bad. He was in no shape to fight, but it was now obvious that he was fucking stuck. If he didn’t clear this trial, he wasn’t ever going to get out, so that left him was no choice. He was going to have to fight, and hope that he could get through it. 

Even though he knew that, he couldn’t make himself move. What he had to do was obvious but when he looked back up at that empty arena, fear suddenly gripped hold of him. Ice dropped into his stomach, churning up the nausea to the point that he was gagging. Stumbling forward, he fell to his knees, his chest seizing up, refusing to pull in air as terror raced throughout his body. Something was wrong, something was really wrong. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this. Not even the toughest of trials could inspire this kind of fear. No, something else was going on. And, if he had to guess, he would assume it had something to do with the blank of his memory. 

Whatever it was, he was unconsciously terrified of it, that much was obvious but he couldn’t stay in this fucking shrine. That was easy enough to tell himself but actually getting back up was the hardest thing he could ever remember doing. Gripping tightly onto his shirt as though it alone could keep him steady, Link pulled in a rasping breath, swallowed hard then started to walk forward, into the arena. With every step, the fear intensified until he could feel a scream pressing at the back of his tongue. Tears burned at the corners of his eyes. Every single fiber of his being howled to turn around, to run, to not take another step, and yet, he did. Violently shaking, stomach doing flip flops, he continued on, finally passing the threshold. 

Standing in the arena, the hair on the back of his neck stood straight up. His nerves screeched hysterically, filling up his head with a loud, intense buzzing. Danger, there was danger, which there should be since this was a fucking test of strength but this danger felt different. He could already tell that something different was waiting for him. Not the small Guardians he usually dealt with. Something else, something he didn’t want to face but was given no choice. Panting hard, he continued to sneak forward, eyes darting about, looking for any hint of what was waiting for him. 

Then, in his periphery, he caught hold of something. Freezing, hard breaths forcing themselves out through his open lips, Link slowly turned to get a better look. At the far side of the arena, half-hidden by one of the many stone pillars was...someone he knew. Blinking rapidly in confusion, Link straightened up, took a cautious step forward and called out, “Sidon?”

A shock ran through the Zora Prince’s body then slowly, so very slowly, he turned around to look at Link. When their eyes met, Link began to shake his head, backing up unconsciously, away from what was obviously Sidon but also couldn’t be him, it couldn’t possibly be him! Black eyes, crazed, enraged, and completely devoid of intelligence, recognition. Sharp teeth were bared in a deranged snarl, foaming spittle pouring out of his mouth. Worse of all was the presence of blight; purplish, black masses of taint spread out all over Sidon’s large body. Lurching to his feet, guttural growls reverberating from deep inside his chest, Sidon stood before him, staring at him with those unseeing as. 

“Sidon?” Link whispered, his voice sounding nothing at all like his own. He wanted to move forward, to reach out to his Zora Prince but his body, instead, continued to back up. In almost an eerie calm, he came to the realization that this was what he had been so frightened of. Sidon, possessed, crazed, deranged. There was a metal clink, and his eyes fled down to one of the Zora Prince’s hands. Clasped tightly in it was a long, silver sword. On the end of it was the maroon of drying blood. 

His legs went out from beneath him. Before he hit the floor, all the memories of what happened before he awoke came flooding back. He had found the shrine, figured it would be useful to procure a spirit orb while he wasn’t really doing anything and arrived down here to find the test to be one of strength but not against a Guardian. No, not that. What he had been forced to face against was what was standing in front of him right now. Sidon, his beloved, his prince, tainted by Calamity Ganon, driven to insanity by the blight. In his shock, dismay and unwillingness to hurt Sidon, he...that sword...his stomach…

Sidon had stabbed him. Right through the stomach, pushing until the sword had run him completely through. Then, immediately after, everything had reset. He had woken up in the exact place from earlier, with no memory of what had happened, and had come to the same realization: he wasn’t getting out until he cleared the trial. The entire scenario had repeated. He walked into the arena, found the possessed Sidon, and was stabbed by him. Over, over, over and over again, it repeated, the same scene, played out without a single variation because this….this was the trial. Not a test of strength, but one of will. 

He wouldn’t get out, this repeat wouldn’t stop, until he triumphed over Sidon, which meant, he was left no other choice but to attack...to kill. Tears streamed down his cheeks. Sobs hiccuped up out of his chest. Pushing himself backwards with the heels of his boots, shaking his head violently enough that it sent his hair flying, Link begged, “No, no, no, please, no.”

There was no way. He couldn’t! This was his Sidon! His prince! His beloved! He couldn’t, he just couldn’t attack him, much less kill him! There was no way, he couldn’t but he knew that this wouldn’t stop. It would keep repeating, over and over again, until he lost his goddamn mind. There was no way, but he had no choice. He couldn’t….he couldn’t die down here. Zelda was waiting for him. Calamity Ganon would decimate the world with its blight if he wasn’t there to stop him. There was no other choice. 

Sobbing hard, pain ripping its way through his chest, Link got to his feet, somehow managed to stay upright even though his legs wanted to desperately to give, grabbed hold of the hilt of his sword, ripped it out of the sheath and held it out in front of him. The blade noticeably shook, vibrating in the bright light. He wasn’t given any time to prepare himself. With a loud, guttural roar, Sidon lunged forward, swinging his sword down hard at Link. Jumping back, Link managed to parry, his arms numb and feeling more like wet noodles than bodily appendages, then swung back, pushing Sidon’s sword away. Pain thudded inside his skull. Tears blurred his vision, making it hard to see anything but the glint of the sword and the purplish black of the taint infecting Sidon. 

Shutting down everything but the instinctual need to survive, to get out so that he could fulfill his duty, Link blocked, parried, swung and slashed, knowing that if Sidon was able to stab him again, the whole thing would repeat over again. He wasn’t sure if he could take another repeat. He wasn’t sure if he could convince himself to attack, to kill Sidon over again. No, it had to be now. It had to be this time. Gritting his teeth, shoving away his love for Sidon, Link slipped one hand away from the hilt of his blade, curled it into a fist and slammed it as hard as he could into Sidon’s midsection. It had the desired effect. The Zora Prince bowed, took a step back, rage seething in his black eyes, then lifted his sword once more. 

This time, he couldn’t beat Link’s speed. Closing his eyes, not wanting to see what happened next, Link side-stepped, raised his sword up and plunged it forward. The loud, gurgling gasp from Sidon told him his sword had found its mark. Numbness spread across the surface of his skin. For a moment, he felt nothing, nothing at all then shrieking rage flooded him. Fire started to burn in the center of his chest. He heard screaming, and it took him a moment to realize that it was him making such a racket. Wrenching his eyes open, expecting to find Sidon still in front of him, he was startled to discover that he was now alone. His blade was clean. There was no hint remaining that Sidon had ever been there. An illusion, just an illusion - meant to test him. 

Stumbling backwards, sword tumbling from his hands, falling to the floor with a loud clatter, Link dropped to his knees, pulled in a deep, grating breath and then screamed. He screamed, and screamed, and screamed until his voice gave out. When he couldn’t scream anymore, he slammed his fists against the hard floor, breaking his skin from the force of blows, bones creaking, splintering, cracking. Halfway through swinging his fists toward the bloodied floor, his stomach finally ejected the contents. Bile spewed from his saliva coated lips, splattering and mixing with the blood. Coughing hard, he gagged, vomited again, emitted a sob that shook his entire body, and then, finally, went still. 

The trial has been completed, the monk’s voice whispered. 

“FUCK YOU!” Link shrieked, jumping to his feet and nearly falling over, “FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!”

Silence was his only response. At the far end of the arena, the door leading to the monk’s chambers clattered open. Breathing hard, saliva dribbling down his chin, rage suffocating him, Link stared at the open door for several moments then turned on his heel, stiffly strode over to the exit and was relieved when the familiar tingling of being transported back to the surface rushed across his skin. Within a blink of the eye, he went from standing in the damned shrine to being out in the sunlight. Around him, birds twittered. Above him, the sun was pleasantly shining in a massive blue sky. Grass was green, trees were rustling in the slight breeze, and everything looked the same. 

Wiping snot and saliva away from his mouth, Link ripped the Sheikah Slate out of its pouch, pulled open the map with shaking fingers and slammed down on the shrine in the Zora Domain. Just an illusion, it had to just be an illusion but he needed to be sure. And, even if it was, he needed to apologize. He needed Sidon to know he was sorry, that he was left with no choice. Sidon might not forgive him, and that would be okay. He would understand, it would hurt but he would understand. The same tingling rushed across his skin. Closing his eyes, he let out a hiccuping sob, felt his feet leave the ground then, abruptly, they found purchase once more. 

“Master Link!” Bazz’s familiar voice rang out. 

Opening his eyes, he discovered Bazz racing towards him, an alarmed expression on his face. Several more Zora turned to look at him, their eyes going wide in shock. Stumbling forward, feeling like he might vomit once again, Link coughed out some incoherent syllables, swallowed down the horrific taste in his mouth, and finally was able to say, “Please, find Sidon, I need-”

Bazz gathered him up in his arms once he reached him. Warmth enveloped him, and he melted into it. Resting his chin on the Zora’s shoulder, he sobbed quietly, so utterly relieved to be out of that shrine, out of that nightmare. Distantly, he could hear another Zora screaming for Sidon. Bazz lowered him down to the ground, gently stroking his back, and whispering little comforts into his ear. Exhaustion began to overwhelm him. Fighting it away, desperate to see Sidon, Link tried to push away from Bazz’s hold but found that there wasn’t any strength left in him. Suddenly, he was very aware just how much the trial had taken out of him but, he couldn’t sleep now. Not now, not until he saw Sidon, not until he knew for certain that it had just been an illusion. 

“LINK!” Sidon’s voice echoed from somewhere above him. 

Lifting his head, relief so powerful that it reduced him to tears washed over him. Sidon, his Sidon, his beautiful prince, his wonderful beloved, untainted, alive and alright, was racing at full speed towards them. Golden eyes swam with panic, taking in the sight of Link exhausted, crying and covered in blood, vomit and snot. Scrambling to his feet, finding the last reserves of his strength, Link hurled himself forward, nearly falling onto his stomach but caught just in time by Sidon’s strong hands. Yanked up, musculars arms wrapped around him, crushing him to a powerful, broad chest. Throwing his arms around Sidon’s shoulders, Link couldn’t help but to begin to sob. 

Burying his face into the crook of the Zora Prince’s neck, he wailed, “I’m sorry!” over and over again. 

Sidon lovingly hushed him, stroking his back, his head, his arms as he placed little kisses everywhere he could reach. The next few moments were a blur, where all he could feel was Sidon, and the relief at finding him alive and okay. When he next raised his head, he was in the Zora Prince’s chambers, settled down beside a glistening pool of water. Not a slumbering pool, but rather, one used for bathing. Sidon was kneeling in front of him, one hand tightly wrapped around his upper arm to keep him upright. 

Hiccuping softly, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to hold into consciousness much longer, Link whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“Why? Why, Link? What’s going on?” Sidon reached up to gently cup his face in his hands, his golden eyes swimming with panic and pain. 

Bottom lip trembling, Link pulled in a shaky breath and forced out the entire explanation in a vomit of jumbled words. It didn’t feel good to get it all out. When he was done, he felt even worse than before. Something like this, he felt like he should have kept it to himself. It felt shameful - how could he have possibly attacked his beloved? What kind of coward was he? He should have found another way, he should have tried harder, he should have done something, anything else but wield his sword against his beloved Prince. 

“Oh, Link!” Sidon breathed, his voice cracking in dismay and horror. Tucking him close, strong arms wrapped around him once more as Sidon rained little kisses all over the top of his head, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to endure that!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Sidon. I didn’t-”

“Sh, sh, sh, sh, my little pearl. Hush, love.” A warm, gentle kiss was pressed against his cheek, “There’s no need for that. Please, don’t apologize. What happened to you was horrific, heinous, and none of it was your fault.”

“But I-” 

“No.” Sidon said firmly, emphasizing the word with another squeeze, “I love you, Link. I love you so much, and I don’t want to anything to happen to you. This trial, this shrine presented you with no choice. I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it must have been.” Gingerly taking one of Link’s bloodied, aching hands into his own, Sidon brought it to his lips, and pressed a kiss against a swollen knuckle, “But I can see the effect it had on you. So please, my love, my pearl, please don’t apologize.”

“You aren’t angry?” Link asked hesitantly, snuggling closer to his prince. 

“Angry?” Sidon repeated in surprise, his golden eyes widening, “Why would I be angry? Link, you were given no choice.”

“You forgive me?” He asked, feeling himself drifting off into unconsciousness. 

“There’s nothing to forgive, Link.” Sidon reassured him, lovingly stroking his hair. 

“I love you, Sidon.” He whispered, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I love you, too, my pearl.” Sidon whispered in return, kissing his temple. “Now, sleep. I’ll get you all cleaned up, patched up and tomorrow, you won’t leave my side, okay?”

He could barely manage a nod. There was nothing to forgive. In all honesty, he wasn’t too sure about that but if Sidon insisted, he would make himself believe but, right then, he didn’t want to think about it anymore. Right then, what he wanted more than anything else was to push away the sight of Sidon, tainted with blight, with black, unseeing eyes. He wanted to push away the sensation of his blade piercing his stomach. He wanted to forget all the times he couldn’t do it, and fell victim to Sidon’s wrath. All of it, every single moment, he wanted to drown, to drive away until the trial was nothing more than a distant nightmare. 

“Stay with me.” He murmured, his voice barely audible. 

“I will never leave you, my pearl.” Sidon soothed, pouring warm water over his battered hands, “When you wake, I will be right here. I swear to you.”

“I love you.” He smooshed his face against Sidon’s stomach, moving closer and closer to sleep, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Just as he was losing his hold on consciousness, gentle fingers wrapped around his chin. His head was tilted back, and he opened his heavy eyelids just in time to have his vision filled up with Sidon’s warm, golden gaze. Pressing their lips together in a soft, sweet, chaste kiss, fingers lovingly stroking the back of his neck, the Zora Prince pulled back just an inch, their lips brushing together as he breathed, “I love you, too, Link. So very much.”

Then, a hand was pressed over his eyes, pushing them shut, “Now, sleep.”

He had no energy left to disobey. Back in Sidon’s arms, away from that horrific trial, Link finally slipped away into a deep, dreamless sleep. The last thought he had before he was completely gone was that tomorrow, he would go back to that shrine and burn it down until nothing but fucking ashes remain.


End file.
